Here are some great “sticky situations” and what do about them from the ULTIMATE expert at The Knot.

• Q.My fiance and I are paying for most of our wedding and we are on a tight budget. We would like to invite as many people as possible, which makes it tough to invite singles with guests. Is it acceptable to invite single family and friends but not include “and guest” on their invitations? My fiance says we have to allow wedding guests to bring a date out of courtesy. I just don’t want to eliminate people just because we’re obligated to let them bring a guest that we can’t afford. What should we do?

• A.This is an age-old debate. Your fiance has a point — it is gracious to allow single guests to bring a date so they won’t feel awkward or left out. But your point is valid too — if you can’t afford the extra guests, it may be even worse to cut people from your guest list just because you can’t let them bring a friend. Deal with this problem on a case-by-case basis. If you have unmarried friends and relatives in long-term relationships, you might want to consider inviting their partners. (Even though they’re not married, they’re committed.) Then, invite your more single friends and relatives without dates rather than crossing them off your wedding guest list altogether. If anyone complains, simply explain your dilemma — it was important that they be there, but that you couldn’t afford to invite dates. Then, carefully consider where to seat them at the wedding; you may want to put them with other singles so they won’t get stuck at a table of couples. Who knows, two of your guests might even make a match at your wedding!****

• Q.I have a wedding budget that allows for about 150 guests, but my fiance and I have so many friends that our current list already exceeds 250! I keep looking at it and just can’t cut any names without feeling terrible. How can we trim our wedding guest list without the guilt?

• A. Rest assured that a bulging-at-the-seams guest list is a common wedding planning occurrence, and can be remedied somewhat painlessly. You are probably feeling so excited about sharing this joyous occasion with everyone you know that you just can’t bear to leave anyone off the list. But, truth be told, most of us can’t afford to invite everyone we know to our weddings, so start trimming! First, go over your list with your fiance and put each guest into category A or B. The As are the absolute must-invites, and likely include your family and closest friends. The B list is for all of those remaining. Now weed out your B list by asking yourself some questions: How close are you with this person? When was the last time you saw or spoke to this person? Would having him or her there on your wedding day really make or break your enjoyment? Based on your answers, you should be able to significantly reduce your overall list.
• Other ways to consider cutting back: Leave off old high school or college friends whom you’re pretty sure you’ll never see again; second and third cousins whose names you can barely remember; and your parents’ extras (unless, of course, your parents are footing the bill). Make your wedding adults-only (skip anyone under 18); invite single people sans guests (and seat them together so they’ll mix and mingle); and don’t feel obligated to invite coworkers or business associates. Lastly, don’t feel pressured to invite people just because you were invited to their weddings. You may still feel bad about cutting people, but the reality is, it’s one of the surest ways to save lots of money and have the wedding of your dreams.

• Q. Is there any reason we can’t have a casual, early-afternoon ceremony and a formal reception with dinner and dancing later?

• A. You can definitely do this. The only issue: Your guests might be confused about what to wear. Some will probably even want to change outfits for your formal reception. Consider the time lapse between the two events, and where guests can go to freshen up after the nuptials. If everyone’s staying at a hotel where all parts of the wedding will be taking place, this isn’t an issue — guests can easily run up to their rooms, change and hang out to kill some time. But to your relatives who drive an hour-and-a-half to attend the ceremony and then need to find a place to change before going to dinner, it’s inconsiderate. Arrange for your guests to have a place to reboot, and you’re golden.

Do you have any sticky situations that you want to discuss with the BBS girls?

Blissfully Yours,

Sam

P.S. Stressed out planning your wedding?

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© 2005-2012 Samantha Dockery, Bliss By Sam Weddings and Occasions Planners

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